Pork Chop Over Rice
by Veracities
Summary: When Kankuro said he wanted to try the new restaurant down the street, Temari obliged him. She just didn't know what he had gotten them into. Crackfic, starring Hidan.


Temari had never been much of a cook.

She had tried once when she was eight and no longer afraid of the stove. She had piled on the ingredients; milk, butter, flour, eggs—all of the necessary ingredients she had thought of, all in guesstimated proportions and of questionable freshness, and fried them. There came a wafting smell (it was really rotten) and young Temari had been demoralized to find that the end result of a whole hour's worth of labor was rancid dough, half raw and half burnt, the complete end of the spectrum in comparison to her desire; fluffy pancakes that would have calmed Gaara and appeased Kankuro.

It was really quite tragic, Temari felt, to have had such a traumatic experience as a kid that she had never again wanted to come near the kitchen. Because of that, the three siblings had suffered through many years of malnutrition. That could change. She mused, staring at the clean, barely touched surface of the stove that she now towered over. She had once been a short, chubby kid with fingertips that barely reached the handle of the pan. Everything was different now. Gaara had changed, in such a true and sincere way that both Kankuro and she had forgiven him—instantly—for his previous instabilities. Kankuro was nicer too and even she—_she_ could change too.

Temari gripped the edge of the pot in determination, staring at her reflection. Yes, she could. And she would. She shoved up her sleeves and opened the refrigerator with a glint in her eye. They had nothing except a few frozen pork chops, some scrawny tomatoes, and a jumbo stalk of celery. She slammed the fridge door shut and eyed the bag of rice.

Carefully, Temari walked out of the kitchen to check on her brothers. They were both in the living room; Gaara staring inexpressively through the window; Kankuro watching television with agitation worthy of a five-year-old. Perfect. Now all she had to do was break the classic six word question.

_C'mon Temari,_ She urged herself, _You can do this._

"Um…guys?" Temari hated the way her voice was coming out. It was squeaky and weak and nothing similar to her at all. "What do you want for dinner?"

Gaara offered her a stare, and as blank as it was, it alleviated a bit of Temari's tension. Kankuro, on the other hand, continued to stare at the television in disturbing bliss. Never one to be put off so easily, Temari tried again.

"Hey." She called a little louder; half-hoping she wouldn't have to resort to violence. "What do you want for dinner?"

She began to stare into her brother's glazed eyes in an attempt to scare him out of his trance. To her annoyance, it appeared to have no effect.

"Hello? Anyone in there?" Temari scowled, trying her fist against Kankuro's skull.

"Ugh!" Kankuro sputtered, removing his stare on the television. "What do you want?"

"That's what I'm asking you, you dumbass!" Temari snarled, finally losing her trepidation in exchange for anger. "God! I'm trying to ask you what you want for dinner, but you can't pay a second's worth of attention! If you're not going to reply, I'm not going to cook _anything_! You can just starve for all I care!" Temari shouted furiously.

Kankuro cast an astonished look at Temari. "You can cook?" He blurted out.

If anything, Temari's rage filled expression should have told him it was the wrong thing to say.

"Kankuro, you bastard!" Temari yelled, getting ready to pound his face out.

"W-wait!" Kankuro tried to appease her. "You don't have to cook! There's a new restaurant down the street that just opened!"

Temari blinked. "So?"

"W-well, we could eat there." Kankuro finished lamely.

Temari narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying that you don't want to try my cooking?"

"No, I'd love to try your cooking!" Kankuro denied. "Just, I'd love to try it…_another _day."

"Uh huh."

"This restaurant's really good; I think we should try it." Kankuro endorsed.

"You're starting to sound like those ads you love to watch so much." Temari said disdainfully. "Just what's so good about this restaurant?" She was still a little bitter about the reaction to her cooking. She hadn't even tried, for Pete's sake. She should have at least been given a chance.

"Well," Kankuro began excitedly. "They have 200 yen pork chop over rice. They're famous for their elasticity, golden brown crust, and perfect taste!"

"Huh." Temari commented. "How can they be famous if they've just opened?"

Kankuro seemed dumbfounded by her question but then he quickly recovered. "They're just that good." He said.

Temari twitched her eye. "I don't know…Gaara, what would you like? My cooking or his restaurant?" Her younger brother was stoic but maybe he would agree with her. _Please say mine, please say mine, please say mine..._

Gaara shrugged. "I don't care." Or maybe not.

Temari looked at Kankuro's hopeful expression and sighed. "Fine. We'll see how good your so-called famous restaurant is."

Kankuro grinned. "Temari, you're the best." His sister rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Her teal eyes flickered to the clock. "We should probably get going. What time do they close?"

The middle brother looked thoughtful. "…I don't know." He admitted.

Temari was pissed. "You memorized the entire commercial and you don't know when they close?" She asked in disbelief.

Kankuro held up his hands. "I had to go for a bathroom break!"

"You idiot!" She yelled, intent on kicking his butt.

"Oww, that hurts!"

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Temari stumbled out of the door. "Watch where you put your shoes." She snarled.

"Sorry." Kankuro muttered, following her out. Normally he would protest but she was actually listening to his suggestion so he said nothing else.

Gaara kept up with his two older siblings, a strange feeling in his chest. They had never eaten out together like this before, it was nice.

"So where is this place exactly?" Temari asked, turning her head left and right before crossing the street.

"I told you, down the street." Kankuro replied, a grin threatening to split his face. "I can't wait! Luscious, golden brown pork, come to papa!" Temari smacked him on the head. "Keep quiet, stupid! People are looking!"

"So what? Let them be jealous!" Kankuro declared triumphantly.

"They're not jealous, you moron. They think you're weird."

"Me? Weird? As if." Kankuro pretended to be offended. Temari just heaved a sigh and glanced at her youngest brother. He didn't seem to have any complaints about going to some new restaurant but…just to be safe, she would keep an eye on him.

Kankuro noted her glance at Gaara. The redhead hadn't had anymore tantrums as of recent, but Temari always was overly prudent.

"Ah we're here!" He announced. He extended his hands dramatically. "This is it!"

"Yummy Golden Beef Yum." Temari read dully. "Why am I not—hey, wait!" She looked down to see Kankuro running inside the restaurant. "Kankuro, you idiot!" She bellowed.

Gaara noted that the phrase was used a lot. He followed her inside without a word.

It was a shabby looking establishment with dim lights and the strong scent of meat. There were people everywhere, however, and the three siblings found they had to squeeze their way to get to an empty table.

"Alright!" Kankuro grinned as he seated himself next to Temari and Gaara. "Waiter!"

"Why are you so excited?" Temari asked. "It's just a restaurant. Calm down."

Kankuro obliged her but then quickly hyped up again as he saw a waiter bringing the table beside him a giant succulent steak. "Oh my god." He said.

Temari glared at him. Then she glanced around. "Business here is pretty good. You were right—no way." She interrupted herself. "It can't be."

"What?" Gaara found himself asking warily, since Kankuro was too distracted by the menu.

"It's—_Naruto_ is here." Temari gaped.

"Naruto?" Gaara repeated blankly. He followed her gaze to the front of the room. Indeed, there was a blonde seated next to a pink-haired girl. The blonde's jaw was moving quickly while the pink-head was alternating between laughing and punching.

"I can't believe they came all the way to Suna to try some pork." Temari said wryly. "They're almost as bad as Kankuro."

Gaara said nothing. He faintly wondered what it'd be like to say hello to Naruto but perhaps that could wait until dinner was finished.

"What's taking them so long?" Temari said annoyed. She tapped her fingers against the table.

"Calm down, blondie. Service is slow around here." A voice replied.

Temari swiveled her head to the table beside them. "What?" She said, staring at a man with slicked back hair dressed in typical Suna attire, albeit with half his chest showing. He looked to be about twenty, and had an air of devil-may-care. He eyed her with apathy. "You didn't hear what I fucking said? I said, service is slow."

"Don't mind him." An older man with a mask and yellow-purple eyes spoke up. "He doesn't know when to _shut up_." He shot the first man a deathly glare.

The first man ignored him. "Seriously, all I'm fucking saying is that it took those assholes a damn half hour for them to finally get around to fucking serving us so don't expect to eat anytime soon."

Temari stared blankly at the man. "Excuse me?"

The man began to glare at her. "C'mon, I just said the same fucking thing three times; don't make me fucking repeat myself."

Temari glanced back at Gaara and then at the gone-crazy Kankuro and finally back at the profane man. "Who are you?" She tried.

"I'm—fuck!" The man yelled, as he clutched his leg. "That hurt, damnit!" He glared at the older man.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" The masked man replied innocently.

"You must be fucking insane if you think I care what you say." The young man replied irritably. "Anyway," He turned back to Temari. "I'm, uh," He glanced at his plate. "Gyuniku."

Temari blinked at him. "Beef?" She asked sardonically.

"Yes, and I'm Kechappu." The masked man said with a chilling smile.

Temari narrowed her eyes. "Ketchup."

The two nodded guilelessly.

Temari knew something was up. If there were two suspicious looking men sitting next to her saying their names were _Ketchup_ and _Beef_, well, how obvious could they get?

Temari sipped her water. "Well, thanks for the advice." She said sarcastically.

'Gyuniku' look surprised. "Uh, hey, no problem."

'Kechappu' snorted but covered it up by pretending to cough.

Temari looked at her brother. She knew Gaara had probably figured out the same thing she had. Then she glanced at Kankuro again. He was…sleeping. And drooling on the menu.

"Kan—" She paused. It was probably best if she called him a fake name. Or, better yet, if he didn't wake up. The less contact her slightly retarded brother had with 'Gyuniku' and 'Kechappu', the better.

"So," Temari began with a fake smile. "How is the food here?"

Both suspicious men shrugged.

"I've tasted better." Said 'Kechappu'.

"It's pretty good." Said 'Gyuniku'. Then 'Gyuniku' glared at 'Kechappu'. "What do you mean, you've tasted better? What're you, a fucking food critic? What a fucking snob."

'Kechappu' glared right back at 'Gyuniku'. "I happen to have a well-cultured background, unlike you, _Gyuniku_."

"Are you calling me a fucking farmer?"

"You said it, not me."

Temari discreetly turned away from the men. They were probably missing-nin or dangerous felons from the way they glared daggers at each other and spoke without care or repercussion. It would be prudent not to get involved with them.

"I think we've been here long enough." She told Gaara in a quieter voice than before, taking care to note that Kankuro was _still_ out like a light. "What do you want to eat?"

"Gizzard." Gaara stated flatly, removing his paper menu from the table. "With extra sauce."

"Okay." Temari said, not even bothering to question her brother's peculiar taste. She was used to it. "I'll have the so-called famous pork chop and," She kicked her sleeping brother's slumped over form. "What do you want?"

"Gghh? Mphfmrh…" Kankuro made a strangled noise as he woke up in alarm. "W-What?"

"What do you want? We're ordering." Temari informed him.

Kankuro glanced around. "But the waiter's not here yet."

"I'm not waiting for him. It's been almost an half hour since we got here; I could've made dinner by now and I'm sick of wasting time."

"…Oh." Kankuro looked back at his menu. "It's kind of hard to choose. I'm stuck between sirloin steak and angus beef steak."

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you going on about their pork chop?"

Kankuro shrugged. "We can eat that anytime. I'm looking at the steak." He stared into 'Gyuniku''s half-eaten steak.

Temari scowled at him. "You're getting pork chop."

"Jeez, lighten up, blondie. If he wants beef, then let him get beef. You let kohl over there get his thing, then why don't you let clown-face get his too?" 'Gyuniku' smirked. "You playing favorites?"

Temari whipped her head around and stood, just barely resisting the urge to punch the man. "Excuse me!" She yelled, echoing her previous conversation with this man. "Is it _any_ of your business what I do? Did I ask for your advice? Huh?" She glared fiercely at 'Gyuniku'. "I didn't think so." She sat down again.

'Gyuniku' blinked in surprise. "Whoa there, blondie, no need to be such a bitch, seriously." 'Kechappu' tried to suppress his laughter but failed to cover it completely.

"…What?" 'Kechappu' asked, sensing a murderous intent aimed at him.

'Gyuniku' narrowed his violet eyes and squinted. "It ain't funny." He growled.

"Isn't." 'Kechappu' corrected. "But I wouldn't expect you to know the difference, anyway."

"Alright, that's it!" 'Gyuniku' roared, slamming his steak knife into the table. "You're a dead man, Kechappu! Fuck you."

Temari thought it wise to keep out of their argument. "C'mon, guys," She beckoned to both her brothers. "Let's go find the chef so he can take our damn orders."

Kankuro slowly got up, not taking his eyes off of the strange scene occurring at the table beside theirs.

Gaara did the same, curiosity trumping safety for the moment.

Temari stared as well as 'Gyuniku' began to shove a knife down 'Kechappu''s throat. The three of them stared open-eyed when 'Kechappu' began to beat the crap out of 'Gyuniku'. Temari was the first to break out of the trance, pulling her brothers along with her. "C'mon." She grumbled, irritated with herself for getting distracted.

As they walked through the myriad of tables, they began to realize that everyone was watching 'Gyuniku' and 'Kechappu' in wide-eyed astonishment.

_Stupid noobs_. She thought. It was really getting hard to navigate around the restaurant, what with every other person standing up to gawk at the fighting duo. The Sand Siblings came to a halt at Naruto's table.

Naruto grinned excitedly and waved at them while Sakura pounded in his face. "Don't wave so crazily! It makes you look stupid! And what did I tell you about bouncing around in your seat? Seriously, you act like you're twelve!"

Temari raised an eyebrow at them while Kankuro smirked. "Looks like we meet again." He said.

Gaara merely stared at Naruto until Naruto took notice of him. "Hi Gaara!"

It seemed as if everyone was looking at Gaara when he opened his mouth to speak, "…Hi—"

He was interrupted by the sound of someone falling into a table full of dishes. Everyone's attention flickered back to 'Gyuniku' and 'Kechappu'. 'Gyuniku' had just slammed 'Kechappu' into the table.

"—ruto-san." Gaara finished, seemingly unaware that his entire greeting had been swallowed up by the vacuum of time.

Sakura looked pissed from missing someone so silent say something so cheerful. Kankuro twitched profusely while Temari made a fist. She was going to murder Beef. She _was_.

Only Naruto and Gaara seemed completely unaffected. Naruto beamed and shook Gaara's hand excessively, which touched the latter's heart immensely.

Meanwhile, Temari was busy stabbing Naruto's table with Sakura's steak knife.

_Stab. Stab. Stab._

"Uh, Temari are you alright?" Kankuro asked worriedly.

"I'm fine. Just peachy." Temari said stiffly. Oh ho, he was dead. He was dead.

Kankuro didn't look convinced at all but he decided not to push it.

"Well, as heart-warming as this exchange is, my brothers and I have really got to make an order." Temari announced.

Sakura blinked. "You mean you haven't gotten any food yet?"

"…No." Temari replied. "The man over there," She pointed. "said that service takes one hour."

Sakura looked perturbed. "Maybe he likes you?"

Temari gaped. "What?"

Sakura shrugged. "Service here is a free-for-all. You mainly go into the kitchen when you get in and just take whatever you want from the chef. He should've known that and the only reason why he would tell you otherwise is probably because he—"

"**HE'S DEAD**." Temari retorted, a scary expression creeping on her face. "He is so fucking dead and I will see to it myself."

Sakura blinked twice this time. Temari was starting to creep her out… "Uh, Temari? You're starting to look like Gaara during the Chuunin Exams. Y'know, murderous expression? Psychotic grin?"

Temari ignored her, choosing to concentrate on sticking the knife through the wall. But the pink-haired kuniochi's comments had caught another sand sibling's attention.

"What are you saying?" Gaara asked curiously.

Sakura gawked, surprised he had been listening. "N-Nothing. Just, your sister's going a bit insane."

"Like me?" Gaara asked softly, his face an emotionless mask. Still, Sakura could see a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"No, well, you've changed, haven't you? It's different now." Sakura comforted him.

Kankuro looked between the suddenly psychotic Temari and the morose Gaara. Which should he comfort? He decided to restrain his sister since Sakura seemed to have things under control with Gaara. "Temari, you've got to calm down. We came here to eat, remember? Shouldn't we—shouldn't we—" He stumbled for words.

Temari sharpened her kunai with a vengeful glint in her eye. "Came here to eat." She repeated. "Came here to _eat_." She continued with a trace of hysteria. "_I came here to eat_."

Kankuro sensed this wasn't working.

Naruto decided to pipe in at this point. "C'mon Temari-chan. Revenge is no answer. Seriously. Just look at what happened to Sas—"

"_Seriously_." Temari repeated. "That's what he says! That's what he _always_ says! Seriously! Seriously, I'm going to kill him! I'm going to fucking kill him!"

Kankuro stared at his sister in wide-mouth horror. "C'mon Temari, can't we just order food?"

"No._ No._ He needs to **die**." Temari stated, almost calm now. "He needs to die for wasting my time and—" She stumbled with the lack of other things 'Gyuniku' had wasted. "My time." She finally declared. "My time. He dies for wasting my time."

"_This_ is a waste of time!" Naruto suddenly spoke, his expression distressed. "Don't you see? Anger, hate, desire for revenge; none of it is necessary. They bring _misery_. You think killing him will solve any of your problems? _No._ It won't. It'll just make another person angry, hateful, and desirous for revenge. It'll just continue this cycle of hate. And I can't," His voice was almost a sob. "I can't _bear_ it anymore! I can't watch all of you harm yourselves and harm others! Sasuke! What have you done?"

"That was really touching, except for the last part, seriously." 'Gyuniku' appeared, loosely gripping the unconscious 'Kechappu' and smirking at the group of teenagers. "I mean, I don't really care much about Sasuke, given that he's red-eye's brother. Fucking pansies, all of them."

Sakura suddenly broke out of the hug she had been sharing with Gaara. Her emerald eyes shone cold. "Temari-san." She commented. "I'm with you on this one. He needs to die."

"Ouch. That's fucking cold, seriously." 'Gyuniku' pretended to be offended. "Well, I'll make this shit fast. I came here to have a nice steak dinner. Missing nin get hungry sometimes, y'know? But then blondie over here," He jabbed his thumb at Temari. "Started bitching about how slow everything was. So I gave her some fucking advice. Big deal. Nothing you need to start killing me over." He looked thoughtful. "Though I wouldn't mind it if you did."

Temari put her hand on her giant fan. "I wouldn't mind it either. Advice? That was the biggest lie I've ever heard! Because of you, my sib—friends and I haven't even eaten at all!"

"Yeah, yeah. I don't really give a flying fuck. Anyway, I had my dinner; I'm leaving." He squinted at Naruto. "And just a piece of advice. I'd give that speech to red-eye's brother if I were you, blondie number two. It was fucking beautiful."

Naruto looked speechless. "T-thanks." He grinned.

"Hey, no problem." 'Gyuniku' looked pleased. "Jeez, you Suna nin sure are thankful." He turned to leave.

"Wait."

'Gyuniku' turned with an irked expression. "What? Can't you see I'm leaving?" He looked around and saw Gaara with a curious expression on his face. "The fuck you want, kohl?"

"Can you tell me why you call me kohl?" Gaara asked.

'Gyuniku' looked bewildered but then his expression cleared. "Oh, that's simple. You wear kohl eyeliner, right? So I call you kohl. Couldn't you figure that out yourself, dumbass? I don't have time for this; I've got a meeting to get to. Leader's gonna punish us for being late. Bye." 'Gyuniku' left, leaving five speechless teenagers behind.

Gaara was the first to speak. "He…he gave me a nickname." He mused to himself. "I've never had a nickname before."

Temari was busy stabbing the ground with the steak knife. "What the fuck? I've never met someone so…infuriating." She growled, leaving little stab marks all over the floor. Hmph. The place was cheap anyways. They would repair it.

"Excuse me?" A man's voice. Temari looked up, her face contorted in anger. Then she quickly dropped the knife and bowed. "S-Sorry, chef-san."

"What ever for? Anyway, I overheard your—er, announcement that you haven't had any food. Please take this complimentary meal certificate for the next two months as my sincere apology." Said the kindly old man. Temari immediately felt bad for getting so angry over nothing. The table, wall and floor didn't deserve all the stabs. _'Gyuniku'_ did. On the other hand, Temari didn't think she could survive another night at this restaurant.

"Thanks." Temari said with a touch of sadness. "I'm sorry about…that man. But I'm not sure if I can take this certificate…you see," She was about to make up some random excuse when Kankuro interrupted her.

"No, no, no!" He yelled. "Of _course_ we can accept this certicate! Thank you so much!" He eagerly took the certificate and bowed. Then he stood up and hugged the alarmed old man.

"Er, you're welcome." The old man said and quickly slipped away.

Temari was almost amused. "Hah, now he thinks you're gay." She grinned, feeling a lot better. "Anyways, if you're accepting it, well, feel free to go by yourself. I'm sure _Gaara_ and I would much rather stay at home and eat _my_ home cooking."

Kankuro gasped, the reaction not entirely natural. "You can cook?"

Temari's response was to kick him. "Shut up! Of course I can!"

Gaara watched the pair quietly. Naruto looked at him. "So now that you've returned to Suna, you're a lot better, right?"

Gaara looked thoughtful. "…Yes."

Naruto grinned. "That's awesome because I have this really cool jutsu that I've been working on and I could show it to you, if you'd like. It's a new version of the Sexy no Jutsu!"

Gaara looked blank. "…Sexy no Jutsu." He repeated.

"Yep, and this time, I made it even more perverted—Ow!" Naruto cried as Sakura punched him in the face. "That's what you get for being a stupid perv, Naruto!"

Gaara only stared.

Kankuro then looked at him. "Hey Gaara, you wanna come back here tomorrow?"

"…Sure."

Kankuro blinked, looking surprised and then pleased. "Alright! See Temari, now you'll be all alone in the house! Isn't it much better to come here and eat pork chop over rice?"

Temari raised her hands. "Come here, Kankuro." She said in an overly high voice. "Come here so I can choke you to death!"

Kankuro's eyes widened and he quickly ran away. "Same time and place tomorrow, Naruto!" He yelled before leaving.

"…How long will you be here?" Gaara asked.

Naruto looked thoughtful. "Two weeks?"

Sakura punch him in the eye. "_Three_ weeks, you moron. They say the—" She looked around for any eavesdroppers. "Akatsuki might be here. We're on the lookout."

Naruto yawned. "It's more like a vacation. I haven't seen _anything_ strange since we got here."

Sakura blinked. It might have been the lighting but she could've sworn she just saw Gaara smile. And it wasn't the weird psychotic smile he had on two years ago. It was a genuinely amused expression.

"What's so funny, Gaara-san?" Sakura decided to ask.

Gaara just continued to smile. "…Nothing."

* * *

The next night, Temari grudgingly slipped on her ninja sandals and hesitantly walked out the door. It was two against one, majority ruling, so she _had_ to go with them. It was no fun cooking for herself, anyways.

She slowly took out the paper menu from the table next to the door and followed her brothers inside. It was crowded again, even more so than the previous night. _Great. That's just what I needed._ She thought sarcastically.

"Hey, blondie!" She genuinely hoped the voice was talking to Naruto.

"What're you, ignoring me?" Please be talking to Naruto.

"Seriously, bitch, I'm talking to you." Okay, fine, how about another blonde girl?

"I can see you, y'know, and I can hear you talking to yourself."

Temari lost it. "Shut up! Who said I wanted to talk to you?" She screamed. She looked up and saw the massive amount of people staring at her, including her two brothers, Naruto and Sakura. She did not see 'Gyuniku' or 'Kechappu'. _A figment of my imagination?_ She thought. _I must be going crazy._

She sat down at her seat awkwardly and looked at the menu.

"What do you want to order?" A waiter with an ugly moustache and an afro (finally) asked their table. Apparently the restaurant had not hired any waiters until today which would explain the lack of waiters yesterday.

"Gizzard." Said Gaara. "Extra sauce."

Naruto looked curious. "What's that?"

Kankuro made a face. "Chicken liver."

Naruto made a similar face. "I think I'll stick with an angus beef steak."

"Me too." Kankuro replied.

"Sirloin steak for me." Sakura said after much contemplation. "With a salad."

"What kind of dressing?" asked the waiter.

"Uh…ranch?" Sakura asked.

"We only have beef juice." The waiter said after looking at his notes.

Sakura winced. "Beef juice? Seriously?"

Temari covered her ears at that word. She really was losing it. Everyone gave her a peculiar look.

Sakura sighed. "Fine. Beef juice."

"And you?" The waiter addressed Temari.

Temari blinked. "Pork chop over rice." She said.

"I'm sorry, we don't sell pork chop over rice." The waiter said regretfully. "A silver haired man with purple eyes broke into our storage this morning and now we only have beef."

" _'Gyuniku.'_" Temari hissed.

"_Kakashi._" Naruto uttered at the same time.

Sakura smacked him on the head. "Kakashi-sensei doesn't have purple eyes!"

"You rang?" The waiter said, pulling off his fake moustache and wig, and in astonishment Temari realized that _he_ was 'Gyuniku'.

Kankuro suddenly swore very loudly. Everyone glanced at him. He looked upset. "If you're the waiter," He said with a sigh, glancing at the delicious menu. "We might never get to eat here." He gestured at the charging Temari, who, with a whip of her fan, was on 'Gyuniku' and ready to beat the crap out of him.

"Seriously." Everyone agreed.

_~Fin._

* * *

**Gyuniku and Kechappu mean beef and ketchup in Japanese, respectively.**


End file.
